Day 44

So this concludes the Lent and this journal. I have learned that being a prayer warrior and bible reader isn't about being spiritual, rather its just about making time. Setting aside time in the day. It's been hard refocusing my mind most of the time, but I find that when I do, I enjoy sitting down and being with God.

He reigns and IS ALIVE! He is living and active. He won't ever forsake, won't ever degrade, or ever reject anyone that truly calls on Him for help.

Thank you Father for being there for me these last 44 days. I've been around the world in that time and been through many different trials. Thank you for always being there.

Day 43

John 18:37-38 ESV

Then Pilate said to him, "So you are a king?" Jesus answered, "You say that I am a king. For this purpose I was born and for this purpose I have come into the world—to bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth listens to my voice."  Pilate said to him, "What is truth?"

It's funny how Man from the beginning is always looking for truth and yet from the beginning truth was there. We have the truth! We know the answers! Truth is a powerful thing. Just knowing the head knowledge in end of it self is a huge thing. BUT to believe it! that is another thing entirely. The world needs to know this truth. Everyone is searching for answers. They want to know. They are looking to know. They will do anything to know. How can we hid such a thing?

Father help us not to hid the Truth. Help us to be an open mind that people can come and see and learn about the truth! you came and gave your life for us... and for everyone just like us. God help us not to be selfish and satisfied with having received the truth. Help us to be free, help us to share this gift. Its the best thing that has ever happened to us! This should be the forefront of our minds and talk. help it be such.

Day 42

Okay so back home for Easter... I'm going to need a lot of grace to be in this place and not get irritated at people....

This the power of the cross, Son of man that came for us. ... We stand forgiven at the cross. He took the pain, meant for us.

Oh great God be glorified, our lives laid down yours magnified!

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine, oh what  foretasted of Glory divine.

Christ is risen from the grave, trampling over death by death, come awake, come awake!

Thee grace alone oh Christ can bear this awful load.

Day 41

John 12:18-19 ESV

The reason why the crowd went to meet him was that they heard he had done this sign. So the Pharisees said to one another, "You see that you are gaining nothing. Look, the world has gone after him."

Father I pray that those words would once again be proclaimed! This world is such a sinful place, and yet words like these give me hope. I pray that you would once again send your spirit upon this broken world and work. Breathe new life into us. You can and are powerful enough. God I pray that you would start a work in our church. I pray that if it would please you, that Megan and I would be at the forefront of that movement. I pray that a great fire would just fall upon the church. That people would not only be excited about coming to church, but that they would also be just as excited to reach out to the people are outside of the church. God help Megan and I not to be self-centered. Help us be a blessing to others. God help us to see and the strength to want to love people. Help us love the unloveable, the people that no one wants to love.

Day 40

I thought there were only 40 days in Lent... weird..

Philippians 4:6-7 ESV

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

So I've realized lately that I've really been anxious about a lot of things lately. I just thought of this verse and I'm going to take it literally and go on faith and list out the things I'm anxious and ask for peace as well as request them. This is not as a test of God, but rather just an obedience thing.

I'm anxious about

- marriage -- I want to get married, I know what I want, but there seem to be so many little bumps and things that have to be worked through..
- money--- this is also something that I think about a lot.. and inregards to the things listed below
- -job -- I need a job for this summer/the next 2 years, one that pays well, and will provide me with medical experience
- -apartment/house -- I need to find a house or apartment where I can live. I want a place that is peaceful, cheap, safe, and new/clean
- -car -- my car is going to die in the next few months to a year, I just know it. I don't really want to drive around a clunker, but would like a car that is less than 5 years old, looks nice, and gets good gas mileage.
- -clothes -- I really need to buy more clothes. My jeans are shot, I need dress shoes and a new suit
- -computer -- I really would like a Mac air (and a Mac mini with a large LCD screen) and feel like I need a new computer as I finish up school here. I am thankful for the tablet I do have, but it kept turning off today and restarting and I was getting pretty frustrated at it.
- -furniture -- I need/want furniture for this new place. I want nice furniture that people of all types feel comfortable in. Something that isn't all floral and tacky like, but rather comfortable and elegant.
- PA school -- I want to go to PA school, I want to get in. I have no idea if I can be accepted... I'm scared about this one, but I do want to go.

Lord these are all things that I've been anxious about in the past 12 hours.. they have occupied my mind. Please give me your peace. Father I do thank you for all your wonderful gifts. I can't even began to count and list off what they are. I will never know how much you love me, but what i do see, I am speechless. father I pray that you would change my heart. That you would make it line up with yours. Father I know that this can't all be pure, but I do ask that you would grant me the things that I am anxious about. I'm not going to be upset at you for not answering, but rather I am listing them because that's what you have told me to do. Father, it doesn't say you will grant me my requests, but rather it says you would give me peace. I ask for that tonight Lord. :)

Day 39

I listen to a talk from a XA MNL a week ago. It really helped me have a fresh perspective on my life and the way that I live.... Jesus plus nothing was a topic. The analogy of coke and water and how water is a cleaning agent, found in practically everything, simple, and good for you. On the other hand, coke is bad for you in large amounts and is very complex. Jesus is the same was as water; simple but neccisary  for life.

Another interesting point he brought up was the idea that bringing Jesus up in a conversation doesn't make the rest of the conversation awkward. Trust God... e bold, not rash, but not in a spirit of fear! Most people are willing to talk, curious if you will.

Father, help me to be bold! Help me to want to spread your kingdom.

Day 38

2 Corinthians 8:1-5 ESV

We want you to know, brothers, about the grace of God that has been given among the churches of Macedonia, for in a severe test of affliction, their abundance of joy and their extreme poverty have overflowed in a wealth of generosity on their part. For they gave according to their means, as I can testify, and beyond their means, of their own accord, begging us earnestly for the favor of taking part in the relief of the saints— and this, not as we expected, but they gave themselves first to the Lord and then by the will of God to us.

This was tonight's talk. I realized how stingy I really am. Two quotes from tonight's talk stuck out to me.

"Giving is not the duty of the rich, but rather the privilege of the poor."

"Will you be bound by your blessing?"

Only 37% of Christian's tithe, and that only on 2% of their income.

I don't really tithe, I forget to bring my checks and I make excuses that I don't really have any income anyhow... but giving is a thing of the heart, not of circumstances.

Giving is such a blessing... to give means showing God's grace, trusting in God's power, and relying on God's promises.

God help me to not cling to tightly to money. Father I so often am more concerned about my bank account, than about the opportunities that you have placed in my path to give. Please help me. I do not want to be a hindrance to your kingdom, I want to move it forward. I want to be at the front lines, proclaiming your truth and your might saving powers. Give me faith, teach me love.

Watch "He Is Faithful by Bryan & Katie Torwalt" on YouTube